Surrendering to Win
What does this even mean? It’s certainly open for some interpretation but we hope that we can shed some light on our interpretation of how it relates to sobriety, sober living and life in general. Surrendering may sound a lot like giving up but for any alcoholic or addict in long-term recovery the idea of surrender and the process by which they experienced it for themselves is something they’ll never forget. With regards to addiction and recovery, when we discuss surrender we are referring to the surrendering of the “will” or a temporary complete deflation of ego.
We can’t speak for everyone out there but in our experience it is only by being brought to this place of complete ego deflation that we become ready to truly change. The fact of the matter is that without this desperation and “defeat” most just are not ready to do what it really takes to recover. Often times you hear treatment professionals and those recovering say that an individual needs to reach “rock bottom” before they will be ready to accept sobriety. This is true in the sense that their willingness to surrender completely to the process that will be laid out before them must be real. For those who are in long term recovery, surrender becomes a daily practice. Unfortunately, most who attempt sobriety will not be successful long-term. The problem is this. When an individual hits rock bottom and their ego is temporarily smashed they have for a short period of time a complete willingness to do anything that is suggested to them. Those who takes those suggestions and begin practicing the program of recovery have made a start but the road to long term sobriety has barely just begun.
What those who stay sober long term will tell you is that they have not only given up the fight with drugs and alcohol but they’ve stopped fighting the world too. This is not to be misconstrued with apathy, complacency or the like, but it is most related to acceptance. As alcoholics and addicts, while in our addiction and often times leading up to it, we have what seems to be a highly tuned need for the world to act, look and treat us a certain way. We would often tell ourselves things such as….”If she would only treat me better” or “If my boss would just give me that raise” or “If my parents would just leave me alone” then “I would be okay.” In reality, what we are really doing is fighting the world around us when we need to be accepting of the way things are. This doesn’t mean that we can’t go and advocate for change in the world, we certainly can and will, but emotionally we must find a place where we are able to accept any outcome. We must be able to be okay even when things aren’t going our way. Through surrendering we can find this place.
Residents in our sober living San Diego home have opportunities to experience this process throughout their days in early sobriety. At times each one of the residents in our recovery home will also experience their ego flaring up and will want to again begin their fight with the world around them. Our purpose is to provide an environment where residents in the home, work together to help one another identify when this is happening and in a loving way help bring their sober house mates back to a place of understanding and acceptance.
Sober living cannot be successful for most if an environment without a process similar to this does not exist. A sober living home that doesn’t provide an avenue or a culture of accountability through peer feedback is a sober living home with a missing element. As residents at Shoreline Sober Living San Diego progress through our program they understand that it is their duty to offer the love and support to the newest members of our homes in the way it was offered to them when they we’re newly sober. This provides an opportunity for our senior residents to begin experience the greatest gift that sobriety has to offer, which is the ability to help another man who is suffering.
We believe that there is not better insurance for long term sobriety than maintaining the wiliness to pass along the gift of sobriety to another person. Each sober living San Diego home has its own unique character but these basic principals must be at work in order for there to be any sort of long term success in helping to rebuild these men’s lives.
We are here to help. If you feel that Shoreline Sober Living San Diego may be right fight for you or your loved one then we hope that you reach out to us. Additionally, if you are looking to find a sober living home in another area we are happy to provide referrals to other quality homes throughout the country. Our mission is to help as often as possible to assist anyone in need to find the support they require.
Contact us @ 858-900-5079
Founder Shoreline Sober Living